Thus Far

A Thoughtful Prayer

2012-01-31T20:33:00.000-08:00

Jesus, would I recognize you if I saw you? What would you look like? Would you look like great blue skies, sunny days, rolling hills and anything that makes me smile? Or like a tortured soul who was a carpenter with rough hands, a knit brow and kind eyes? Or perhaps like what your current occupation implies: eyes of fire, limbs of glowing bronze, pure white hair, and dressed in golden clothes (Rev 1:13-15)? I don't know if I am more impatient to finally meet you, or terrified. Because you are the Prince of Peace, but you are also the King of Glory.

Dagon Falls

2012-01-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

Background scripture: "Then they carried the ark into Dagon’s temple and set it beside Dagon. When the people of Ashdod rose early the next day, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! They took Dagon and put him back in his place. But the following morning when they rose, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! His head and hands had been broken off and were lying on the threshold; only his body remained." 1 Samuel 5:2-4

Her idols crumble like dust before him; like Dagon, they fall to pieces in his presence. She stands among the rubble, amazed and terrified at a God who will not let anything come between them. She is drawn in by his mercy. She has set countless Dagons up before him and has watched each and every one of them fall to the ground like they clay that they are made of. Yet, in his anger, he does not destroy her. He simply waits for her to turn to him, to realize she in his presence, and to remove her shoes. He waits for his beloved and will tear down as many of her idols as it takes for her to get tired of setting them up. He waits for her to turn to the one who will not crumble.

Adventures in the kitchen part 5 (I think)

2011-12-04T15:33:00.000-08:00

I wanted a dippy egg. Why do problems always occur when I’m in the kitchen? Don’t answer that.

It’s not like I haven’t made a dippy egg before, I just have problems when absentmindedly-or mindedly- cooking. So I got out the little red frying pan, the egg and the spray cooking oil. I then turned on the stove, put the pan on the fire and sprayed the pan.

A pan-sized bullet of fire exploded from the pan for half of a second before disappearing into the air as if it had never been there. But it had, I'd seen it and so had my dad.

"Meg! never spray an aerosol can on the fire! Spray it before," he said. You were about 10 years too late on that advice Dad. Why couldn't I have learned this when I learned how to use the oven in the first place? I suppose most normal people know not to do be an idiot, so I guess he and my mom are justified in not teaching me this.

Thankfully my face was far enough away from the pan that it did not fry my face.

So today I learned...Spray the pan before putting it on the gas stove

Putting Up With People

2011-10-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

I roll my eyes a lot. Sometimes I get annoyed and complain to people of my frustration. There are many ways I react to people who do not understand what I am trying to do or when they do understand and take advantage of me.

But some people truly don't understand the gospel. They get it wrong, have preconceived notions or just have never seen the gospel. Evangelism would be easy if everyone believed and understood the gospel, but then it would not be evangelism. As Christians, it is our job to show them the true gospel. If we roll our eyes, are impatient, rude or unwelcoming in any way, we'll lose them. That isn't good and that isn't Christlike.
I am currently reading 1 Corinthians 9, and verse 12 caught my attention and made me think of this.

"...On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ," it says.

It served as check to my roll as a Young Life leader. Do I have in mind the things of Christ or am I complaining and being selfish? How much do I put up with for the gospel?

This led to me think of an earlier verse in 1 Corinthians:

"We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! ¹¹ To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. ¹² We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; ¹³ when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world." 1 Corinthians 10-13

Power Struggle within Christianity. Corporately and Individually

2011-09-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

Jesus recruited fisherman and tax collectors as his disciples and spent an overwhelming amount of time rebuking and thwarting the religious leaders of his time. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.”(1). He said. The greatest among you will be your servant.”(2). He said.

As Americans, we have all heard of the American Dream. We strive to have nice houses and nice cars and we compete for the best jobs. It carries into our churches and worship. We want to be the most devout, the most knowledgeable, and a leader of leaders. We want people to respect us and see our all-American life and think we’ve gotten somewhere or are going somewhere. We have gotten somewhere: far from God’s will for us.

I sat in my Buddhism teacher’s narrow office asking questions I hoped she’d have the answer to. Being a Christian in a class about Buddhism causes you to realize that both students and teachers scorn the one you love so dearly. “Do all Buddhist’s have the potential to see their past lives or only the Buddha?” I asked. She said that for a lot of Buddhists, reincarnation of past lives has become a legend, something taught in theory but not believed in practice or something mystified overtime. I replied that I could think of a lot of different things in Christianity that have been over-emphasized or turned into legend. I was thinking about Eve’s “apple” or something like that.

“Yes, like the verse ‘it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.’(3). Most Christians ignore that verse,” she said. Ouch.

I would point my finger at mega-churches and televangelists, but that would cause me to overemphasize the harm they do and not focus on the harm that we all do. As a college student, I’m going to college to learn how to get a job making money. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that because we need to support ourselves so we are not mooching off the government or others. But if our goal in life is to be rich and comfortable we should probably really question our belief in the one that says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”(4). When we use our faith to justify our place in life we need to examine our hearts and remember that Jesus came to save sinners and was crucified by the self-important and self-righteous.

One of the reasons Christianity started to spread in the early days is because it appealed to slaves and women (people who had relatively no power). Then something changed. Constantine converted to Christianity at the battle of Milvian Bridge, won control over the Roman Empire, and made Christianity legal shortly after. In medieval times, rulers used the church to control their people and the church has used the state to control its power. Power power power. Greed. Exploitations.

From an American perspective, do we really think that the only way the church will survive is if it has control of the government? Don’t get me wrong, I think that we should always opt for leaders that push for freedom of religion and freedom of speech. But since when do we push our beliefs onto others and think that is ok? Why do we think it is ok to force others to conform to our beliefs? Can someone living without light really be expected to imitate it? “And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them.” Jesus said. What I am asking you to think about goes further than just the hot issues of abortion and gay rights. Every issue of division can be divided into what we are willing to control. Does anybody else wonder how many people running for any office exploit our faith? Think about it, how many politicians cater to us by claiming to be Christians but then don’t act like it? Or are Christians only in name? Instead of using our faith to justify who we vote for, how about we vote for one who puts others first, does such a leader exist?

In conclusion, we need to remember our faith is a faith that calls for us to humble ourselves, take up our cross, and follow. NOT exalt ourselves in false superiority, turn our noses up at “sinners,” or compete for leadership roles amongst ourselves. “The greatest among you will be your servant.” Matthew 23:11. “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17. I think it’s time that we go and learn what it means to be salt and light. Go and learn what it means to not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Jesus called Christians to be different. As a challenge I ask, how different are you? What are you doing or not doing that goes against the message of our culture? How are you taking up your cross? And how easy is it for you to follow others rather than take control?

(1). Matthew 23:13
(2). Matthew 23:11
(3). Mark 10:25
(4). Matthew 16:24

What I've learned this summer

2011-09-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very faithful with this blog, so I'm summing up everything I've learned this summer into one post. This means I will probably forget a lot. Forgive all of the cliches, there may be a lot in here.

1. There is no friend better than an old friend. No matter how many new friends I make, I find myself most comfortable with the people who know me best. That isn't to say my new friends aren't awesome because they are, they just don't know me as well as old friends. Summer Bible Study in my home town was incredible and the fellowship just came naturally. I'll miss them all at their prospective schools.
2. Being a commuter student has it's benefits. As much as I dreaded moving back in and mooching off my parents and having my car suck gas, summer quarter wasn't that bad. I survived them and I like the drive...unless there is a person going 45 in a 55 when I'm late to work which happens every day. The proceeding sentence has made me realize another thing I learned/
3. I should leave my house earlier instead of cutting it close every morning. However, I'm not very good at keeping resolutions that involve me waking up earlier.
4.God is closer than we sometimes think. I went all last quarter feeling so far from him, only to have him say he's been here all along. He gives me goose-bumps sometimes.
5. "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Mark 9:35. Pride is an interesting vice that is easy to get trapped in. For example, it's hard to face your own pride without wanting to point out the pride of those above you. The reason people who seem perfect bother me is because I know they are not, and yet they hide it so well. That's my pride getting in the way of love. again. Why should I care if they're hiding something? Aren't we all hiding something, or trying to? None of us want to show people who we really are because of PRIDE. Philippians 2:3&4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Jesus gave us a way out of pride when he told us to serve each other. It lets us put others first no matter who they are or how they gall us. Why fight over being first when last place is obtainable? You all can have your structure and leadership positions among leaders and what ever best-of-the-best positions.you'd like. I'm going to try to serve. I probably won't be very good at it though so don't get your hopes up. Ok-rant over.
6. ALWAYS make sure you didn't buy decaf coffee before you open the container. Seriously, it is such a let down to expect one thing and get another. Unless you like decaf, in which case I guess this would just be insulting to you. I apologize.
7. Sometimes banks take money from you when you don't have enough money in their system. It happens.
8. Make sure your windows are rolled up in your car. Torrential down-pours are always unexpected to people who don't keep up on the weather channel. Don't make your car stink for months on end-just roll up your windows.
9.My family is awesome. Not just my mom and dad, although they are cool too. Everyone.

I think that is sufficient. Nine things to have learned in however many weeks. Plus you heard my pride rant. I've probably insulted my readers. If so, I apologize but I do not retract anything...yet.

Coffee Etiquette in a coffee crazy house

2011-06-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

I'm used to my single cup brewer. I love it. Coming home though, I use it less and tend to use the family coffee pot instead. This isn't a bad thing, the coffee is great. I've been getting a lot of slack recently though because I've ignored the coffee etiquette. Here are some tips if you ever find yourself in a coffee loving house:
1. Let the person who brewed the coffee have the first cup.
2. Let the person who brewed it have a cup.
3. Don't take half the pot in one go even if you do brew it.
4. Brew/Make the coffee every now and then. Don't make someone else do it all of the time.
5. If a coffee lover calls you "the bottom of the pot" it is an insult. You should probably seek retribution by drinking the actual bottom of the pot.
6. If you use your mom's blender to grind up coffee beans, wash it out and put it up.
7. If you drop coffee beans on the floor, pick them up because to quote Amy Exline they "look like mouse turds on the floor."
These rules aren't set in stone and are based purely on my observation of behavior. Don't feel pressured to follow them...I probably won't even follow them, but now common decency is common knowledge.

Salvation on Sand Mountain

2011-06-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am currently taking an Intro to Religion class at the glorious college of Ohio University. In this class, we had to read a book by Dennis Covington called "Salvation on Sand Mountain." The book is about snake handlers, people who ascribe to a type of Christianity based off Mark 16:17&18, which says "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; ¹⁸ they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

Mark 16 is interesting, and I'll keep my outlook on it brief and vague so I don't make anyone too angry. My preacher always says "a text without a context is a pretext." Seriously, if I learned anything from him it's that. He says it every Sunday at least once I think. That being said, I want to discuss why Covington's book went from an interesting read to an awesome read in one chapter.

If you're one of those people who hates it when a surprise is ruined and likes to find everything out by yourself, quit reading now. Now that you've been appropriately warned, the chapter takes place after a wedding during a service. The author had brought his wife and his female photographer to the church, as he'd done on previous occasions. The photographer (Melissa Springer) was following the preacher around taking pictures when he went on a rampage about women and how they shouldn't have jobs, they should stay in their place, and that they weren't intended to have a life of their own. After the tirade was over, the preacher invited the author of the book-Dennis Covington-to preach. Covington got up and used Mark 16, the very foundation of their tradition to scripturally redeem women from the preacher's anger.

You see, Mark 16 is the end of that gospel. It ends with Jesus rising from the dead. Covington asked his audience at the service who Christ first appeared to. The answer was Mary Magdalene, of whom seven demons had been driven out. To top that, Covington further says that when she went to tell the disciples and they didn't believe her, Jesus appeared to them and "upbraided them" for not believing her. Covington then argued that Mary Magdalene was the first evangelist (a claim supported by many) and that a woman's place is to preach the gospel of Christ. He then used Galatians 3:28: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

His sermon ended there and people spoke up against what he said, but what amazed me was that Covington knew they were going to speak against him but said what needed to be said anyway. That made this book awesome. Well that, and the very end part where he describes his Father calling him home.

"The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

To an inexperienced swordsman, the sword can be more of an opponent than anyone wishing you harm. Swinging it wildly into the air is just asking for it. Know the word inside and out. Know every aspect of it and what people are saying about it... and be careful not to cut yourself.

Keep Going

2011-05-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been amazed at how much life is like Dori's song on Finding Nemo. I have actually had the phrase "just keep swimming" in my head. Most of my friends who go to other schools are already out for the summer, but I get to keep going until the second week of June.

I'm running on fumes here. Sure, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing and keeping up with all of my work, but It feels like I need to recharge.

I now understand why Paul always makes Christianity (and life itself) out to be a race. There are so many times in life where you just have to push through the pain and the exhaustion and just keep going. You keep going not because you can't stop, you can quit trying at any second. No, you keep going because something in the back of your head tells you that its the right thing to do and if you stop you know you'll only disappoint yourself. But this race is no 5K. Its a full-blown marathon. Its an 18-mile-death-walk through the woods with burrs and mud and sticker bushes. Uphill both ways, no doubt. At the end of it, you'll be thankful for the beauty you experienced but you'll also be crying, hair all eschew, and wondering where along the way you lost your sanity.

I know this because I went on an actual 18-mile-death-walk. I was thankful for the beauty I got to see and for the company I had along the way, but all I could think about at the end was how thankful I was that I was finished and how much that had hurt.

The struggle is the worst when you're almost finished. I'm experiencing that now as I know this is my last quarter until summer.

This post seems like it is mostly me complaining, but that isn't the point at all. Life is a struggle sometimes, but my main point is that you have to keep going. That 18 mile hike was one of my most vivid memories, I still remember when both of my shoes got stuck in the mud and when we looked out at the awesome views Burr Oak has to offer. You just have to find the will within you to keep going.

So keep going fellow scholars, young lifers, and friends! Whatever you're struggling to get through, you can make it! There is something satisfying about not giving up. Even if you do end up crying with sore feet, its worth it, trust me.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Mona Lisa Doesn't Have Eyebrows

2011-04-09T22:38:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me tonight that I would never insult Michelangelo by calling a piece of his art ugly. He knew so much more about art than I ever could. I don't understand some of his paintings because I don't understand him, but I could never confidently call his work ugly unless he explained it to me. I can't call it that because it is made by a renown master and is therefore, by definition a masterpiece. Yet, I somehow dare to insult my creator by viewing myself as ugly. I have a horrible self image. I insult the god who made Michelangelo.

This lesson is probably a no brainer to must normal people, but it seriously just hit me tonight. However, if there is anybody who needs a reminder that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, here it is! If there is anybody reading this who wonders why God made them the way that they are, remember that people still wonder why Mona Lisa doesn't have eyebrows.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

Sometimes Yelling at Your Grandma is a bad thing

2011-04-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

I freely admit that I was an odd little kid. I console myself with the thought that most people probably don't remember my embarrassing moments or odd characteristics because they are too worried about their own. This is a good general rule of thumb, but not if you offended someone in your childish oddity.

When I was smaller (not little, unfortunately I was too old at the time to consider myself little, I was probably in middle school) my dad and my grandma were not talking to each other because they both unfortunately fell on completely opposite sides of the political spectrum during a presidential election. My bull-headed, childish brain was furious at both of them for getting so worked up over political nonsense. My grandma even stopped going to church because she thought the preacher was endorsing George W. Bush. This angered me the most because church was important in my family, I didn't know why it was important at the time, but I knew that it was.

The Sunday after the election, my grandma still did not go to church and my dad was still not talking to her. I was ticked. So I asked my mom for grandma's phone number and to this day I'm not sure why she gave it to me. I then called my grandma after church and said in the nastiest tone "Grandma, the election is over, so you can come back church now." And then I hung up. Yup, I actually did that. Why did I think that was a good idea?? you tell me.

After I hung up on my grandma, my mom asked me what I wanted the number for. I then told her what I did and she rightfully flipped out. She had me call my Grandma Holman and apologize of which I did while I was crying because I realized what I had done was horribly messed up and wrong. My family then rushed over to her house and talked it out while I was crying and saying sorry over and over again (I think, my mind has since blocked this part out of my memory). The good thing was my dad and my grandma were talking again, which may or may not have happened if I had not interceded. I'd like to think that I'm what brought them back together, as if that thought somehow justifies the atrocity of what I had done. A couple of weeks later Grandma wrote me a nice card, which helped me feel better about the situation.

Until recently I have pushed that shameful memory out of my head with the thought that Grandma probably doesn't remember because it wasn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. Little did I know that is one of the defining moments of our relationship to her. She introduced me to someone with that story recently, which made me laugh. I was an odd individual.

Her bringing up that story to me recently made me learn a couple of things:

1. Yelling at your Grandma is most definitely a bad thing and I do not recommend it as a means of communication or reconciliation.

2. People do remember these things even if you wished they didn't.

3. Sometimes bad choices can still have good outcomes.

4. I love my grandma, she is awesome.

5. This may be the reason why I shy away from most political arguments/debates nowadays.

and 6. I'm glad I mellowed out a little since then.

So learn from my mistakes! Don't yell at your grandma! You're welcome for that much needed piece of advice :) And if you're reading this, I love you Grandma!!

always, Always, ALWAYS lock your door

2011-03-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

You may be thinking to yourself "is this really a lesson she just learned? Yes. Yes it is, and I give you full permission to judge me for my stupidity. Here is my side of the story, I'm sure Sarah Patterson has a different one :)

Last year in Washington Hall room 314 my room was always locked. I didn't mind it. I kind of thought that was how doors were supposed to be at night, although a couple of times I felt bad for waking my roommate up in the morning because I got locked out and needed inside. Fast forward to this year with a different roommate who, for the purposes of this story is as responsible as I am, which isn't saying much on either of our parts (no offense Sarah, I just don't want to take all the blame). When it came time to decide what to do with the door, we decided to leave it unlocked because come on- who is going to want to sneak into our room when we're sleeping?-that would have to be so random.

Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of nights I got scared and locked the door, but Sarah thought it was unnecessary and at the time I thought that a)she was right and b)what college sophomore is afraid of the dark? what kind of wierdo am I?? so generally we left our door unlocked. Sarah was closest to the door, so I wasn't too worried and I also thought I was a relatively light sleeper.

On Wednesday, March 16/ Thursday, March 17, our world was turned upside down. I had went over to C3 to watch a movie and spend the night but decided instead to just sleep in my own room. By the time I made it back and went to bed 2:30 a.m., Sarah was fast asleep (I think). I went to sleep almost as soon as I started trying.

At 4:30 in the morning I woke up to Sarah asking rather loudly "What the heck (heck used for the children, actually another word here) are you doing in our room!?" I thought she was talking in her sleep, but she sounded truly terrified and it scared me so I figured I should probably make sure. I opened my eyes and unwrapped my blankey from my head, which is kind of surprising because normally when I'm afraid I just sort of freeze and lose all sense of rationality. After I let my eyes adjust, I squinted into the direction of Sarah's bed. (yes squinted. don't judge. I have really bad eyesight and I had already reached my movement capacity of unwrapping my face from my blankey). Then I saw it, Sarah sitting upright in bed, eyes wide open and movement in the shadows by her desk. There went my sleep-talking theory. I sat bolt upright and threw on my glasses (again surprising myself), I still couldn't see but the lamp by my bed has a short in it so it had only a 50% chance of working. I wasn't about to get out of bed and turn on the lights he was standing beside.

I then yelled "Dude, get out of our room! That's not cool! Who the crap are you? Get out of our room!!" not in an authoritative voice, but in a I'm-scared-to-death-and-I-might-start-screaming-or-throwing-up voice. Sarah was also asking him to leave and questioning him. After a few short seconds, he did leave. He turned abruptly towards the door (before he was facing Sarah), opened it, and walked out. The light that hit his face for a brief second illuminated a face that looked confused, and then he was gone.

We both sat staring after him for a moment and then I told her to make sure nothing was stolen. She asked me to lock the door. Adrenaline rushing, I waited a couple of seconds before actually opening the door to unlock it. I looked down the hall but nobody was there. So I locked the door and double-checked it to make sure it was actually locked. I then went back to my bed and sat there for a couple of seconds before Sarah asked "Are you sure it's locked?" I replied in the affirmative but then got back up to triple-check.

I told myself and Sarah that he was probably just sleep-walking, which may or may not have been the case. I had a hard time falling back to sleep after that. Finally, I listened to the birds chirping in the pre-dawn morning and thanked God. I thanked him for protecting me from sleep-walking creepers and for teaching me a valuable lesson: locking your door is a necessity on a college campus, unless of course you like sleep-walking creepers. I also thanked him for the birds. I slept till noon under the protection of a locked door and Jesus...hopefully the creeper's name isn't Jesus-that would be ironic.

I'd spend forever in this moment

2011-03-12T18:56:00.000-08:00

I’d spend forever in this moment with the wind in my hair giving me goose-bumps
and with my cat keeping me company.

I’d spend forever in this moment
with the stars whispering your name
and with the moon shining so bright it makes all surrounding lights jealous.

I’d spend forever in this moment
with memories of quiet waters and paths of joy

and with the echo of a glorious sunset in the sky.

I’d spend forever in this moment
with bare feet running mad out into the moonlight
and with spring peepers chirping in content.

I’d spend forever in this moment
with a cup of coffee within my reach
and with dandelions budding in the yard.

I’d spend forever in this moment
with your love hitting me like Eureka!
and with a refreshed soul I sing your praise.

I’d spend forever in this moment,
forever my heart will sing of how great You are.

Smells of change

2011-02-16T12:23:00.000-08:00

Ah! It seems like all of my favorite smells are coming together this week, bringing me joy! Here is a list of everything so far:)
1. The smell of your (or someone else's) clothes when you get back from running in the winter. It really is amazing. I always describe it as fresh air. It smells sooo good. I got back from running on Sunday and inhaled deeply. it was so awesome.
2. The smell of wet pavement when it is raining. I don't know why I enjoy this scent so much. It reminds me of my days of running track, I suppose. It smells warm,earthy, and fresh and It makes me happy.
3. The smell of coffee. yum.
4. "Lucky You," Lucky Brand perfume.. ahhh!! This may be the best manufactured scent out there.
5. Hay. The workers put hay on the ground by Morton Hill and it smells amazing. It reminds me of when I used to own pets and we gave them hay to keep warm in the winter. I guess it just reminds me of home. I also like that the scent of hay adapts to the weather. When it is warm, the hay smells warm. When it is windy or cold,they hay smells cold. It is such a sweet scent.
There you have it: Megan Exline's favorite smells ever combined in one week. The only smell I can think of that is missing is the smell of spring, but the week isn't over yet. :) Also...now you know I'm a little bit crazy.

The Fear of Flames-Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

2011-02-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

In recent events, I have been reminded of Daniel 3's story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Although I do not have an angry king threatening to throw me into a furnace, I do have have a professor who threatens to do just as much damage. I have seen these people in other aspects of my life as well: people who seem to exist only to make you worry or fear for your life and immediate future. I think I would be ok with these people if they had actually thrown me into the flames, but to leave me under this cloud of uncertainty, or to demand that I bow before that stupid gold image is just annoying. Throw me into the fire already! Fail me,fire me, arrest me, murder me, kick me out, or shun me! This was how I felt before rereading Daniel 3.

Recap of Daniel 3: In this story, king Nebuchadnezzar randomly sets up an image (or idol) and forces all of his subjects to worship it at a specific time. Some of his head officials were Jews and decided not to bow down to it (it is, after all, kind of their first commandment as part of their covenant with God). When King Nebby found out about this, he was angry. So naturally he threatened to throw them into a furnace. He says "Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?" Instead of giving in, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego chose courage. they replied “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” The King was so angry he had them thrown into the fire and it was so hot the people who threw them in died. But Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego didn't die. They didn't even get burned. Nebuchadnezzar saw them walking around with a fourth man who "looked like a son of the gods." Yup-not only were Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego saved from the fire, they were also witnesses to the King, they stood up for what's right, and their God was with them.

So, how does this story compare to my life right now? here is a list!
1.My Info Gathering professor is King Nebuchadnezzar in disguise. or at least he makes me fear for my life and worry needlessly.
2.Money. Notice it was a gold image? I forget sometimes that I don't want money, that in actuality, it doesn't matter if I fail a class, or (heaven forbid) drop out of college. I'm not supposed to bow down to idols like money, status, grades, or sleep.
3. My God is with me (and you), just like he was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.He is able to rescue me and even if he doesn't, I serve him not idols.
4.Maybe, by this attitude I can be a witness to people like the king. Maybe "a man that looks like the son of the gods" will walk with me and others will see him. Or more likely, they will see him through me.
I hope what I learned helped you!

The Body of Christ...so much for unity

2011-01-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

Are you a Calvinist or an Armenian? Do you believe you should have communion every Sunday, once a month, or whenever? How do you think communion works, anyway? Were you baptized or did you pray for a relationship with Christ? Are you from a Catholic Church, Presbyterian Church, Lutheran Church, Methodist Church, Church of Christ, or something else I forgot to mention?

There are so many particulars. So many specific things we can choose to believe within our faith. In consequence, there are so many things we can judge our brothers and sisters in Christ about if we decide we don't like the way they do things, or just if we decide we don't like them in general.

I have noticed that we are divided. Really divided, and it probably won't change. I read Romans 14 not that long ago, and the topic of division was brought up in a conversation recently. I am not really passionate about many issues, but I am with this one. In Romans 14, Paul talks about division. He also says vegetarians have a weak faith, but I'd like to believe he was just giving an example. (you are probably saying to yourself "welp, she just admitted her faith was weak, let's move on to the next blog, nothing important here." If so I can only point out that you are judging me) Anyway, Paul mentions that each should be fully convinced in his own mind. Which sounds confusing until you realize you aren't supposed to go around wildly debating everyone. There are some issues that you could be wrong in. Some faith-based issues that aren't black and white. I think you just have to believe what your faith lets you believe and then mind your own business about what someone else's faith lets them believe.

In Romans, Paul says "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister." we are so divided. What is worse, we get so caught up in the little things we forget what really matters: that we are followers of Christ who died for us all, and that we are a body that should lead people to him. He is what matters. Him. Not our theology and not us. It's not about what we believe in, it's about who we believe in.

That passage in Romans has been around for about 2,000 years and hasn't served to reverse the division, so I am sure this small blog-post won't either. The passage in Mark also hasn't changed anything, unfortunately. In Mark 3:24 Jesus says "A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand." While a kingdom and a body are different things, can you imagine a body divided against itself? Yes, we are a body. There are no separate bodies for the Church of Christ, or the Methodist Church. We are one, and we need to realize we are one and stop condemning one another before we loose sight of Jesus. Can you imagine an actual body as divided as the church is today? we would either be stumbling around everywhere out of control or standing still not allowing one part of ourself to move.

I won't argue theology with another Christian anymore. I won't. Neither will I judge them for what they believe. I will not cause my brother or sister to stumble. We can't allow Satan to divide us anymore. ok, I will now get off my soapbox.

Bitterness

2011-01-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

Beware! Bitterness is a poison that slowly turns your blood to ice. Sooner or later it turns your anger to hate. People you once admired will become disappointing and annoying. Once you start down the road towards it, it's hard to turn around. So forgive others in your heart, walk in their shoes, make excuses for them, love them unconditionally, but DO NOT resent them. I will, however permit you to eat chocolate and drink coffee. Actually, I demand that you drink coffee.

"Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." Proverbs 14:10 :)

Being patient sucks

2010-12-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

"Wait For the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

That verse has been in my head all day. Probably because I am getting tired of waiting on things. I get so impatient sometimes. You may think that I am a patient person, but if you do that is probably because you cannot read my mind...which (now that I think about it) is probably a good thing for both of us. Do you ever feel that way? As if life is just passing you by while you sit and watch everyone else moving and growing and changing? I always pray for "my turn" and my chance to be normal, but God must not want me to be normal.
While writing this I remembered a sermon I heard at Central Avenue when Peter was asking Jesus about what was going to happen to John. Jesus told him what his own future was going to be like, and of course he was more worried about what someone else's was. Maybe he was jealous, or maybe just curious I don't know. The point is Jesus just replied "what is that to you? You must follow me.”
Maybe I would be infinitely more patient if I could just focus for once on what really matters, if I could just stop looking around at what everyone else has and just be content to live and work and be where I am now. To look forward to the future as if I knew what it contained is foolish. Sure it brings hope for awhile, but eventually it leads to disappointment, bitterness and impatience because my idea of the future is apparently sooner and different than God's idea for my future.

I suppose there is nothing left for me to do but to put my hope in the Lord and wait on his plan. Though the wait may drive me mad and the suspense may be too much, I will take heart because waiting on God will be satisfying and not disappointing like every other wait has turned out to be. I know I will somehow find the endurance to wait a little longer.

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him" Psalm 62:1

A good thing that I have somehow managed to unlearn

2010-12-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:20 and Luke 12:34

I used to be generous. I gave when organizations asked, I put money in the plate every pay day, I gave good Christmas presents, I was tithing regularly and giving more than just my tithe. Since I have came to college however, I have become sort of hoggish. I rarely tithe, I come up with lame excuses for not giving to charities or helping out, and I store up every little bit of money that I can find. What happened? Why do I suddenly worry about money? I have more money to spare now than I ever did in High School. I suppose I write this now as an attempt to relearn a valuable lesson.(hehe, get it valuable??) I think this lesson can only be learned through practice.

Walking Humbly

2010-12-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

I have had this post title saved for a very long time, as if I hadn’t quite learned my lesson yet, or fit all of the pieces of the puzzle together. I probably still haven’t. But this is what I have learned thus far. (See what I did there???hehe).

I think we are supposed to carry each other’s burdens and reveal each other’s beauty. I find that difficult to do when that person seems to be better than me at just about everything. You probably know the types of people I am talking about. They are the people who are smarter than you, prettier than you, stronger than you, and “more holy” than you. They sometimes treat you like the village idiot, always give you advice, and seem to be perfect at everything. I get rather smug when I finally know something they don’t or beat them at some easy task. Hopefully you recognize your pride when you come across these people, but of course that just makes you even more jealous. I think I am constantly stuck in this struggle.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:1-4

It’s hard to love my neighbor when I run into these kinds of people, because this crazy sense of competition takes hold of me and I would love nothing better than to be better. To be the best. But there is always going to be someone better than me, someone smarter than me, faster than me, better looking than me, more holy than me, less awkward than me, less messy than me, and better at cooking than me.

Writing that last sentence gave me some relief. Just think if I were the best cook in the world…Our food would suck! If I were the smartest person in the world, we would be in some trouble. Don’t even get me started on the awkwardness or the messiness. Hahaha!

In The Weight of Glory by C.S Lewis, he talks about how we are supposed to look not only to our own glory, but to our neighbors.

“It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.”

I am not saying we are supposed to demean ourselves or brush off compliments, which is something I tend to do. But, that is not what being humble is. Being humble is being able to realize that your importance and insignificance are tied together. You are at once unimportant and of greatest importance. You matter and yet don’t matter. You will get glory, and beauty, and praise, but not all of the glory, all of the beauty, or all of the praise. I think God gave just the right amount of each to all of us.

My misconception of relationships = Lord Voldemort's soul

2010-11-30T20:55:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I may have had a very bad misconception about relationships. Up until now, I had this weird idea that being in a relationship produces the same effect as murdering someone in the wizarding world...I had this weird idea that your soul splits apart each time you date someone. To explain more fully, I believed that the more relationships you were in, the less substance each relationship would actually have. Isn't that crazy? It doesn't make sense! I kind of want to hit myself because it is false, unfeeling, and hurtful. Plus, the notion goes against everything I believe about love and hate. I believe they are nothing like each other. I can see how hating people could damage your soul, but loving people?? shouldn't that heal your soul or make it stronger? shouldn't that give it more substance? I only just realized this misconception because I was analyzing my fear of relationships and asked the question of "why?" Maybe I should ask the question more often.

In conclusion, I apologize to the people who have had a lot of relationships. I don't consider you evil people with less of a soul, and honestly I didn't really consider you like Voldemort to begin with, I just suspected that is what would happen to me for some reason. However, if my misconception proves true then I suppose you all will enjoy living forever while I die...unless-as a twist-I am your Harry Potter and then...well you know.

Feelings and Meanings

2010-11-28T12:14:00.000-08:00

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you” declares the LORD” Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)

I suppose you may wish to know that I took this verse out of context. God is not really talking to me, he was talking to the Israelites, but every time I read that verse, I get hopeful. I feel as if maybe it is ok to believe he was talking to me through those words. Maybe it is ok to feel special about it. This verse has helped me through this quarter and it has seemed so real and true when everything else around me was chaos. It was like a light in the dark. The verse reminded me of why I believed what I believed, and it reminded me of hope. I almost misspelled hope by writing home, but then I realized it reminded me of home to.

I am reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldrige right now, and they used this verse to talk about how God wants us to seek him, and that he longs for us to long for him. I really like that. Not that God needs us, but that God wants us. It is good to feel wanted. It is good to feel. I would not have gotten that if I was worried about the context or literal meaning of the verse, even though it would have been true and right. Sometimes, you have to look at your experiences and feelings with things in order for them to have value or be special to you.

Maybe that is what this post is about: not Jeremiah, but about feelings. I have been confused as to how to regard my feelings. Normally I consider them contemptible, but I was reading C.S. Lewis The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and when the beaver mentioned Aslan's name for the first time to the children, they felt something.

"And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was anymore than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning-either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again."

I could not quite figure out what I was trying to convey here until Erica said "You mean that words have an intrinsic meaning apart from just their definition." Words and verses sometimes cause reactions just by their mere utterance. They are things that make your heart want to dance, bring a smile to your face, cause you to relax, cause you to be excited, or make your heart happy . Do you have any words like that? Here are some of mine (other than Jeremiah 29:11-13):
Joy
Heart
Hope
Light
Beautiful
Grace
Courage
Justice
Truth
Isaiah 58
Home
This post has a challenge: find those words, verses, or sayings that mean something to you and cause you to react.

13 guaranteed ways to annoy the mail-people of south green

2010-11-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

By popular demand:(this is mainly just for fun, so don't take it personally. I'd probably love you even if you committed all 13 of these atrocities).

1. Ring the bell for attention when they're right in front of you.
2. Ask if your package is here yet when you just ordered it yesterday.
3.Say you lost your slip and make them dig through hundreds of packages to find yours.
4. Take an "or current resident" letter and tell them that it doesn't belong to you.
5. Tell them you lost your keys and need to get the mail out of your mailbox.
6. Bring all of your friends with you to get your package.
7. Talk bad about them (they can hear you through the mail boxes).
8. Automatically assume they lost your package
9. Have your parents write illegibly and fail to put the room number on the letter.
10. Complain that your mailbox is full when you never check it.
11. Subscribe to every magazine there is and then proceed to not check your mail. ever.
12. Say you haven't gotten a package slip yet because you didn't open your mailbox and you didn't see it.
13. Ask where your Fed-Ex package is (they don't deal with Fed-Ex)

These are the little things in life the mail-people generally do not like. They don't hate you if you do these things, they just really wish you wouldn't. :)

hope. because who doesn't love being abstract?

2010-10-13T20:24:00.001-07:00

Hope. Feels like light in the dark. Feels like summer in winter. Feels like yes. Feels like future grace and sunshine on rainy days. Feels like lightness of heart and feet. Feels like dancing with no music. Feels like patience and waiting. Seeing but not yet getting. Knowing what is to come and being satisfied with the knowledge.

The adventures of the apple and the worm

2010-09-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

Last night we were debating on what wakes you up better: a cup coffee or an apple. I was biased towards the coffee, but I admitted that the apple had potential. This morning I decided to test this by having both coffee and an apple for breakfast. I drank the coffee first and I woke up sufficiently enough to wait and eat the apple later, forgetting about this test altogether. Worms in apples are not a new idea. Everyone has probably heard about them. I thought it was just something found in a child's picture book, but no: worms can actually live in apples. You have probably guessed that there one was in mine today, hopefully there was only one because that one was the only one I discovered. So: What did I learn today??? Always take small bites when eating an apple and don't take it for-granted that your apple won't have a worm in it, because it just might.

11 things that I think are awesome

2010-09-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

1. coffee
2. Donald Miller and his "Blue Like Jazz"
3. conversations that tend to be deep
4. different colored nails
5. sorrow and sympathy
6. that lighthearted feeling obtained by walking outside on an awesome day.
7. the crazy inner want to run down hills, skip light-heartedly, howl at the moon, roll over laughing, sing, and dance to the music in your head.
8. freedom
9. joy
10. smiles
11. friends

The Great Tornado Scare of 2010

2010-09-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like a natural disaster when it comes to bringing people together. Everyone crawls out of their hiding places eager to tell their stories. Everyone asks friends where they were at, and people text back and fourth about what is happening to them. Other than the awful facts that homes are being destroyed and millions of dollars are probably going to be needed to fix everything, natural disasters are kind of awesome! At what other point can you see the clouds turn green? Anyway, as I hope to hear other people's stories about where they were at during the great tornado scare of 2010, here is my own:

I am a nervous person when it comes to disasters, I tend to run around in circles wondering what I should do for example: one time when I was working at a camp a girl fell off her bunk and hit her head so naturally I turned to one of the kids and asked them what I should do. But I diverge, I was in my dorm room reading an assignment when the warning siren went of. I have never been in a dorm room during a natural disaster before so naturally my first instinct was to run outside across the street to one of the houses with a basement. When I got there, people were standing outside in a circle discussing the near impossibilities of a tornado actually touching down in this area (I of course agreed, having lived around Athens all of my life and never once seeing a tornado). I was very nervous and I kept feeling my pulse for some odd reason even though I don't know how to check it. I helped one of my friends shut all of her windows and then I went back outside.

A couple of minutes went by where everyone was outside calmly discussing the impossible when a red van pulled up and I was told to get in...sorry I had to describe it that way it was really just three of my friends wanting me to go with them to Court Street. I went in because of the calm atmosphere being projected on me by the site of all college students completely ignoring the siren. Things began to change when we were driving uptown. We saw swarms students scurrying inside and down the hill while the further we went the darker the sky seemed to become. By the time that we parked in the parking garage, I was worried. We got out of the van and strangers who had also just parked reported that a tornado had actually touched down and the sky was turning. So we ran to the stare-well and were going to hide in the bottom of it when two of the people that I was with ran outside to look at the sky. Across the street sorority girls saw them and invited us inside for shelter. I am glad that they did because the bottom of the stare-well had a suspicious looking stain on the floor.

Once inside, we headed for the basement and sat in this room with a painting of a girl that looked like Elle Woods, a throne that a girl was sitting on, and rows of red chairs. I am pretty sure under normal circumstances, outsiders are not allowed in their because when we were getting ready to leave they said "Remember, you were never here." It was kind of creepy. My little group of friends kept noticing very stereotypical things about the sorority and then trying not to be disrespectful because they were very nice to us. Nonetheless, the whole experience reminded me of an odd sci-fi movie. When we felt safe, we ventured back upstairs into the really nice house and discussed what to do next. We went to Big Mama's and then on to spread our stories and listen to others.

Love: it takes more than words

2010-08-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel unloved. It is a weird feeling because I know it is a false feeling, but it still hurts. It makes me wonder though: How many other people feel like this? How many people were counting on your smile and love for them and you didn't show it? My friend Dave had a sermon about the fact that it is more blessed to give than to receive and he talked about the church! He wasn't talking about money, but about our duty to love each other. It is so easy to say "I love you" and while that is nice to hear, it isn't all that matters. When someone walks into a room, they sometimes need to see that I am glad that they are there. When someone tells me something about their life-however trivial it may seem to me-they sometimes need to know that I care. When someone is sitting by themselves, they sometimes need someone to talk to. Asking how they are doing is great! but only if that person can see that you truly care about them, otherwise you will only force them into lying to you because they will just say that they are ok, even if they are really broken inside.

I'm looking at this mainly from my own hurt, but I'm also seeing it from the view of others I have hurt. I am sorry if I've ever hurt anyone through this thoughtlessness and insincerity. As a resolution, I'm going to make a point of truly loving others. I leave you with a verse:

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

The differences between soak and soaking

2010-07-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

I guess I've never really understood the concept of "soaking in" God's word or God's love. I have heard people speak on this subject a lot, but until now the image just hasn't sunk in. I personally blame language for my failure. "Soaking in" can be shortened to the command "soak in" or maybe I just automatically took off the middle "ing" sound because it happens twice in a row. Either way "soak in," to me conveys a very different image than its fellow phrase. When someone says "soak in," my mind goes straight to the image of a plant drinking water, which is great, but I'm not a plant. Also, once you drink and are refreshed, the water is gone until you get thirsty again. You actually get rid of it. It changes you a little bit, but not too much, and if you're anything like me, you probably drink just enough to keep you alive and comfortable, but your pee is still yellow. I have forever thought a plant image was adequate. I did not realize something was missing...but today I found the extra "ing!"
When someone says "soaking in" I think of water also, but it's more like someone taking a bubble bath. Soaking in God's word and love sounds much more relaxing than just a brief encounter of a soak in it. I am loving this analogy! I cannot believe I have never gotten this! I have been missing so much without this image. Seriously take the time to imagine yourself in a bubble bath. Your hands get all squishy from being in the water, you make a beard and play in the bubbles, and you smell whatever refreshing scent is in the bubble bath. You become completely clean, relaxed,and comfortable. You lather soap until you smell like Christ. I love it and am now going to go and take time soaking in God's word.

fun quote from Notting Hill

2010-07-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

"Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat"

Worry

2010-07-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I fear so much. I know that I have already written about not worrying, but worry is like a cancer: it works it's way into your soul, spreads, and slowly kills you. It is obstinately hard to get rid of. Worry would be different if it inspired me to action, but generally it just makes me feel self-defeated and upset. I write this mainly to reassure myself, though I suppose you might be encouraged from what I am about to say. God will take care of you, he holds you in the palm of his hand and he loves you greatly. You are his, child and he takes care of his own, so don't be afraid.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”- Isaiah 41:10

What I learned at Camp

2010-07-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

For the week of July 4th, my Aunt asked me to teach and work a week of church camp. This particular week of camp was for kids going into 3rd and 4th grade. That being said, those kids were high energy! They kept asking so many pointless questions, like "why do we have to do this?" and "where are we going next?" Not only did they ask questions, they forgot everything all of the time, they complained nonstop,they ran around during class, and they had to go to the nurse for a pin-size drop of blood or a bruise. They were so messy! They clung to me,they beat me up, they wouldn't listen to me, and they refused to work on memory work. I kept threatening to take away their swim-time (which was their favorite activity) to no avail. By the end of the first day I had no patience left, but it gets better!

Here is what I wrote in my journal talking to God:

"I get angry at nine 3rd and 4th graders who cannot stop complaining. You hear everyone's complaints and you listen to them even if the complaints they make are against you. I am so much like that little girl, Amanda who cannot seem to be happy with anything we do. Maybe I should take my own advice and know that "life isn't fun unless you make it fun." Also like my kids, I am always worried about what is coming next in my life. Sometimes I merely want to know, other times I beg you to tell me when a desired event (such as swimming)will occur...always I ask "but why can't it be now?" I get so distracted wanting to know what is next and complaining that I don't really focus on what I'm currently supposed to be doing. Thank you for teaching me something in my trials for patience. You have made it worth while! Thank you so much for putting up with me, for loving me, and for not taking away my swim-time:)"

Running

2010-06-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

My twin sister runs Cross Country for Milligan. When asked what she loved most about running she replied: "I love it when I go fast." I love the simplicity of that statement. Maybe this is what I should be focused on. Not that I can run fast according to normal standards, but I can run faster than I can walk. Oh running, I wish I had my sister's perspective on it as opposed to my own. For myself, I generally regard running as a chore I would rather not complete. I suppose this perspective is something I am learning.

2010-06-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

"In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love."
~Mother Teresa

Faithful

2010-06-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

I am always worried that God will not provide for me. I am constantly learning the same lessons over and over again. Recently, it has gotten worse. Everything-all of my worries-hit me at once: money for college, friendships, relationships, grades,classes...you name it and I was probably worried about it. Which is ironic because our team is going through a book called "Fearless" by Max Lucado. However, I have been praying about it, all of it. And (how awesome is this) Today during my quiet time I remembered the verse that says "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 2 Timothy 2:13 I love him :)

one thing not cool with Facebook

2010-05-21T09:06:00.001-07:00

I changed my profile picture today. After flipping through pictures for hours I finally found one that was worthy of a profile picture. That got me thinking: out of hundreds of pictures of me, why did I pick that one particular picture to represent me? It was taken my Senior year at prom, so you tell me: how much do you think that would truly represent me on a day to day basis? You're right, not at all. Then I got to wondering: Does everybody do that? I then came to the conclusion that Facebook is all about how you present yourself to other people, and it makes me sad that I actually care about this. I almost resolved to tell you that I am going to go through my pictures and choose the ugliest one to make my profile picture, but something stopped me. It turns out I do care about how other people perceive me and it took my one-of-a-kind Facebook profile picture for me to realize it.

Fight for JOY!!

2010-05-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

A prayer I found in a devotional awhile ago that I have twisted to make my own:
"Hey God, I know that sometimes I’m not content, please fill me with joy when I’m feeling empty. Thank you for having a plan for my life and for directing my footsteps. I pray that I may be a joy-giver and be able to give joy to others. I want to be content like Paul, not whining about his circumstances or pining over something he cannot have, but FULL of joy because he knows that you are in control of his life. Forgive me for not always seeing the upside of things and for being a pessimist. I know that you are ultimately in control of my life, even though sometimes I want to be. Forgive me for that, I know that with you in control, my life is simpler and better. When I try to control it, I get worried, stressed, upset, sad, and lonely. Help me to let go, and make me a joy-giver! :)
Help me to see others as You see them, to love others as You love them and to give like You give. May I be a vessel through which Your JOY flows into the people around me."

God of leftovers

2010-04-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

"And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:29-32
I am glad that Jesus fed the 4,000 after the 5,000. In women's bible study last quarter, we talked about it and you would think after 5,000 people he would feed more and 4,000 is almost old news, isn't it? Mark 8:14-21 addresses the issue. The disciples were worried because they forgot the bread on the shore. How many times has Jesus said "Do not worry?" How many times has God provided for others? He gave Abraham and Sarah a son in their old age(Genesis 21). He provided the Israelites manna in the dessert(Exodus 16). He provided Hannah with a son (1 Samuel 1). Jesus had just provided them with a meal and the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. Yet they were still worried. Jesus says "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Are your hearts still hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up? (12) And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up? (7) Do you still not understand?" mark 8:14-21
Do I still not understand? He provided with me with a scholarship this year, he provided me with friends when I needed them, he provided me with a wonderful supportive family, he provided me with comfort when I needed it, but I don't get it. I still wonder if I forgot something on shore, I do not trust my God to provide. Why is this such a tough lesson to learn??

Body Image

2010-04-24T12:06:00.001-07:00

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him;male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)We were made in the image of God. That being said, we reflect God. When I look at people I should be able to see God's glory because they reflect him. They cannot help reflecting him, it's part of what they're made to do. I am so thankful for that! I love how complex we are. I love that more things have to be going right than wrong for me to even wake up in the morning. I love breathing and the fact that I don't think about it and it just comes naturally. I love coffee and the way it tastes and the thousands of taste buds that allow me to realize how amazing it is. I love how complex the process of just seeing a blue water bottle is. I love going barefoot and feeling the ground beneath my feet. When I think of all these things, I think of how awesome my God is and how beautiful he must be! "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well!" (Psalm 139:14)

Overflowing

2010-03-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

I am a work in progress. Some lessons take awhile to learn, and while I know that I need to learn them, that does not make the progress any easier. What am I talking about here? I am talking about the lesson of being not just satisfied with God, but overflowing with his grace. How many times have I approached the throne of my maker to ask for more of this life on earth? How many times have I spit in his face because I was not content with what he gave me and how he made me? My friend Kate Loveless once reminded me that this world is not my home, and while I know that in my head, it just has not sunk in.
Romans 1:25 "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised."
My heart was awakened by the above verse because that is exactly what I have been doing, and now that I realize this fact I am beginning to learn my lesson. It has been a couple of weeks, however since this discovery and still I find myself in the same spot as when I began. I find that I am in The Apostle Paul's predicament when he said in Romans 7:19 "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." Just like Paul, I know that there is no condemnation for me, but I also know that I cannot serve two masters. I cannot have both this world and the next. I know this, but struggle with it all the same.
My point is that what I know in my head has yet to sink in, but by faith I know that it soon will. Soon I will be overflowing! just like in Psalm 23:5;Psalm 119:171,Luke 6:45,Romans 15:13,2 Corinthians 1:5,and Colossians 2:6-8.

Stories

2010-03-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

My workplace has taught me about stories. I work in a mail-room. Normally, my job consists of writing down packages slips, putting mail in the mailboxes, and forwarding student's mail to their correct addresses when they move. I handle hundreds of pieces of mail a day. Every day that I work, at least one student comes to the door asking if we have seen his or her package. Sometimes, they get impatient.

I would like to think of myself as a fairly nice and helpful person, but I confess sometimes I roll my eyes and mumble unkind things under my breath. I have a theory that everybody does this. You see, where I collide with people at work, they do not understand that I handle hundreds of pieces of mail a day, and sometimes I do not understand that they are waiting on a cell phone or money. Everyone has an excuse. Everyone has a story.

Over the summer, I got so tired of looking up a certain man's mail that I caught myself blaming him. I thought towards him: "Why don't you know your own address? That is something even grade-schoolers know!" My perspective changed when I read a story about him in the paper. Suddenly, he had a perfectly adequate excuse as to why his address was so messed up.

I jumped to conclusions and was quick to become angry. I was reminded of James 1:19-20 which says "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." If only I had thought of that verse before going to work over the summer or dealing with the extremely rude people that I often see, I may have reacted differently.

So... what is the moral of this story? The next time someone is extremely rude to you, remember that people have stories and histories. Not everything is what it seems.

Not Empty

2010-03-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

Looking at this empty blog space, I had to write something. The blog is about what I've learned thus far in college (and life), so if the blog is empty, it gives the impression that I have learned nothing. So...random lists!!!

-My wise Young Life leader gave me some great advise, and so far she has been correct: "College is more than grades, most of what you will learn is going to be outside of the classroom."

-Ramen noodles are really hard to wash out after sitting in the cup for two weeks.

-"There is a whole lot of ugly out there" (VICO professor Stan Alost)

-There actually is a difference between hanged and hung. On a related note: there is a difference between who and whom. It is not a word made up just to confuse people. (J133A)

-Waiting on the Lord is so difficult, but so worth it: "'For I know the plans I have for you,'Declares the Lord,'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11